Today is my fourth day in Berkeley. I arrived on Thursday, played a little pool at the Broken Rack in Emeryville then headed over to the Empty Gate Zen Center for a retreat. The YMJJ started at 9:30 a.m. (we are in Berkeley after all). For the second time in as many months, I found myself wanting to leave almost as soon as the retreat had begun. Why, oh, why didn't I at least take the morning off to run around Berkeley and drink tea and buy stuff? Fortunately, that passed quickly (or at least what passes for quick at a retreat), and by Saturday morning I felt incredibly present. Or rather, I felt the presence of something that was neither inside nor outside what I think of as myself, and I found myself just letting that something carry me. The deep clarity of that long sustained moment wore off after a couple of hours, but I trust that it is (as the Soto Zen liturgy says), "not near and not far."
The highlight of Sunday was Margaret's arrival. We hung out at the Zen Center for a while, then went for a hot tub (Albany Hot Tub and Sauna, if you are ever in town), checked into our hotel (Rose Garden Inn), ate Ethiopian food, and went to a gay AA meeting. Now we lying on our bed watching the fire burn in the fireplace (yes, it's cool enough for a fire). Tomorrow we go to get our marriage license and buy rings.
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