Tea and Tea Masters

There are a lot of stories from ancient China about tea masters doing dharma combat with—and besting—Zen Masters. Usually these tea masters are unassuming and diminutive older women and the Zen Masters are quite full of themselves, inadvertently exposing themselves to a devastating blow from the tea master’s mind sword. Here’s a modern and absolutely true story:

Once at a major Zen Center on the east coast of the United States, a Hong Kong woman set up her tea table in a corner of the kitchen and was enjoying tea with her students. An American Zen Master appeared and asked if he might join them. “Please be seated,” she said. Now this man fancied himself a teaist, and he began discoursing about tea. “Oh,” she said, “you must be a tea master. Please, I would like your opinion of these teas.” She offered him two cups. The American tasted each tea. He described the first one as smoky and imperfectly processed. The second tea, he said, was much superior with an aged, complex character. “Actually,” she said, “those are both the same tea.” The Zen Master began turning red. She gazed at him for a moment. “You are quite pretentious,” and returned to her conversation with her students.